Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Putting on My Big Girl Pants

Well, yesterday I had to suck it up and put on my big girl pants to broach the subject of what Bryan really wants out of "us". We've been hanging out a lot lately but in the back of my mind I was still a little worried about the fact that he wasn't looking for anything right now. So, last night I asked him if he "knew how to be single". He just laughed and said "I'm not doing a very good job of it!".

In a nutshell, we had a long conversation about what we wanted to do and we decided that it would probably be best if we took a break from things so that he could be "single". He said that meeting me had put a kink in his plan and that it sucks because he really likes me. Well, I like him too, but I told him I also have to look out for myself and I don't want to go down a certain road for too long and then have him figure out that he wants something else. He agreed and as much as we neither one of us wants it we're going to stop communication for a couple of weeks and then reconnect to see where things stand.

Of course, today my Match inbox is blowing up again. I literally haven't received one wink or email since I started seeing Bryan and now today the creepers are back. I swear, Match has some sort of spidey sense about these things. Naturally, its no one that I'm the least bit interested in, which makes it all the more annoying about this thing with Bryan. He wants me to date while we take this break, but the thing is I don't really want to. And I especially don't want to deal with Match bs! Although, when I logged on today I saw that Bryan had viewed my profile. I'm not really sure what that means, but it seems important to mention :)

I'm trying to stay positive about the whole situation and hopeful that he'll see that I'm the best girl for him. I know I just need to wait it out a little bit, but it sucks!! My Match subscription is up in two days and I'm not going to renew it, but maybe I'll check out some of the free dating web sites and see what I come up with...

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

An Update

I wanted to give everyone a quick update on the Bryan situation. We decided to have a lunch date yesterday because his school is just up the street from my apartment and during the week he doesn't have a whole lot of free time at night because he's doing school work. So we grabbed some lunch and then came back to my place to eat on the rooftop deck at my complex. It was a nice day and the sun was out so we decided to have a "picnic" lunch on the roof. It was very Bachelor-esque :) Although we didn't land on the roof via helicopter on anything like!

We're having lunch and I decide to broach the whole past relationship question. Because if you remember on our second date he told me that he just recently got out of a long term relationship but I didn't have any more information than that. Well, in a nutshell, he ended his last relationship "a couple of weeks ago" and it was a 7-yr relationship! Not exactly the answer I was looking for!! Apparently he's a serial relationship guy, so he's looking to spend some time being single. Which I told him I can completely appreciate and understand. I also asked him why he decided to get on Match. He said that he hadn't met a lot of people since moving back to Austin and starting school, so he was using it as a way to meet people, plus he had friends that had told him good things about it. But the thing is (and I didn't tell him this) he's not acting like he wants to be single! I mean, he invited half his class to my Super Bowl party and was not shy about being affectionate towards me and then after our lunch we date we made out for like an hour! So his actions aren't exactly matching up to his words.

He also invited me to meet up with him and his friends Friday night for karaoke. Then today he called me to ask me out for a "pre-Valentine's Day" dinner on Saturday night because he won't be able to do anything on Monday! I mean, we're practically dating but just not saying it! I don't know, I'm going to continue to see where things go. It could get me in trouble down the road, BUT I have a lot of fun with him and we have chemistry and its been a long time since I've had that with anyone. Call me selfish (or just plain stupid), but I want to see where things go. If only it could be easy and uncomplicated!

Monday, February 7, 2011

A Super Bowl Win

Although I only saw about 10 minutes worth of the game last night, I do know this. The Packers scored enough touchdowns to pull out the win and I scored a few touchdowns myself :)

I hosted a Super Bowl party last night and I invited Bryan. He in turn invited a couple of friends from his MBA program, which was great because the more the merrier. At the beginning of the night, I was running around letting people into my apartment complex and making sure that everyone had food and drinks so I felt kind of bad because I wasn't able to pay that much attention to him. But the great thing was that he and his friends fit right in with everyone! Everyone was really friendly and social, and I didn't have to worry at all about everyone getting along. It was perfect!

Bryan stuck around for awhile after the game and it was just Bryan, me, Wes, Jamie and Jamie's roommate and her boyfriend and it felt totally comfortable. There was no awkwardness and Bryan fit right in like he's been around forever. It was actually quite nice :) Then when we were talking later in the night he said, "Thanks for having me and my friends over tonight. They all thought that you were really cool" So it sounds like I got friend approved! Overall it was a really good night and things are looking positive!

We still need to have a conversation around his last relationship and him "not really looking for anything" but I feel like things are going really well. So I'm staying hopeful that he's open to exploring what we might have together, because I kind of feel like we're already dating!

Friday, February 4, 2011

Question of The Day...Answered

Well, I thought about just reposting the first half of yesterday's post but with a different ending :) But let me start from the beginning...

I met up with Bryan at a Mexican food restaurant last night for dinner and drinks. Dinner was great, good conversation, good food and good margaritas...pretty much a perfect combination in my mind! We finished dinner at around 8pm and he asked if I would be up for doing something else which I definitely was. So then we decided to go to Highball - a place where they have bowling lanes and drinks. We weren't able to get a lane but there was a band playing so we went and watched the band for a little while, while we had a drink.

Now at this point in the date, everything was going well. We were having a good time and getting a little flirty with each other. But then Bryan says, "Can I ask you a question?" which immediately made me nervous because he was hesitating on how he wanted to ask it. All I could think was "What the hell does he want to ask me?" He asked what I wanted to get out of "this" - meaning me and him. Of course, I'm standing there fumbling my words but I basically said I don't know what I want to get out of "this". I said I know I'd like to see you again but I don't have any pre-conceived ideas about anything. I'm basically looking to hang out with someone that I can have fun with and have a good time. So of course, I had to ask why he was asking me this and he said because he had just gotten out of a long term relationship and wasn't really looking for anything right now. That he was looking to have fun and meet people but not much else right now. Kind of a bummer but I don't think it completely closes the door on things, because I know he wants to hang out again. Luckily, though, things only got better from there :)

After a drink at Highball, we decided to head downtown to have a few more drinks. It was pretty dead because its been really cold here lately and there just weren't very many people out and about. But we found a bar that had live music, cheap drinks and where we wouldn't be the only people in the bar! And we just had fun. There was a lot of flirtatious touching, laughing and overall just a good time. We had a couple of drinks and then decided to head home. At this point we were in his car and my car was back at the restaurant, so as we're driving back to get my car, Bryan asks me if I would want to go back to his place for a little while. All I could think was "Oh geez, am I really going to do this!?!"

I'm sure you can guess my answer...which is yes, I did go over to his place. BUT all we did is make out, although clothing was optional :) He definitely wanted to do more than make out, but I told him I wasn't ready to have sex. I also didn't stay the night, although he offered up the option. So I guess in the end, I kind of proved my theory but I kind of didn't. I was definitely attracted to him from the beginning of the night (I didn't need any cocktails to help me with that!), but I'm also glad that we broached some of those sexual barriers by having a hot and heavy make out session which was certainly easier to do with a few drinks in my system. In the end, a little liquid courage was good to have but I would have made out with him even if we hadn't been drinking, which I think is a good sign!

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Question of The Day

Why does it feel like I'm only attracted to guys after I've consumed several cocktails? And I don't mean it in that I'm not attracted to guys because I am and I clearly don't play for the other team. But in the sense that it seems like the real "attraction" never comes until I've had a drunk make-out session at the bar. Maybe its just that I'm more fun after a few cocktails!

But honestly, when I think back to how some of my previous relationships have started, I hate to admit it, but a majority of them have started after a night of drinking at the bar and hooking up. Sometimes going all the way or sometimes "hooking up but not having sex" as my friend would say. Obviously there are pros and cons to starting a relationship this way. Pros: there are less inhibitions and lets be honest, you're drunk so you think that you look like a million bucks and are a master in the sack! Cons: you've now given away "the goods" and there's no going back to just light make out sessions. Plus it can be kind of awkward in the morning when you realize that you've just spent the night with someone that you don't know that well and you're trying to find your underwear :)

Now, this did NOT happen last night. I went out with Cole and we went to this restaurant Barley Swine that I've been wanting to check out. The food was awesome, but the company was so so. He's a nice enough guy but he wasn't as cute the second time around. What I'm trying to figure out is if I should go out with him again to see if we start to "click" more or if after two dates, since I'm not really feeling it, should I move on? I mean, should I be giving these guys more of a chance? But at the same time, I usually know pretty early on if I like someone or not, but lately I've just been so blah about everyone I meet. 

Tonight I have a date with Bryan and I hope it goes well. My concern with him is that I don't think that he has a lot of extra time to date right now and I feel like I'm the one who is pushing things forward. But I'm going to stay positive and hopeful that things will go well and that something more will come out of it than just two dates!

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

One other thought...

Its not fair how easy guys have it when it comes to dressing for these casual dates. They can just show up in a t-shirt and jeans and look incredibly hot. When I have to do my hair, put on makeup AND find that perfect outfit that says "I totally just threw this together at the last minute" eventhough it was thought out all afternoon so that I have the perfect combination of cute and casual. Its just not fair!

Also, to all of my friends in Chicago and the midwest. Stay warm and don't go outside unless you absolutely have to!

Hottie Alert!

My coffee date with the hottie went well! It was a gorgeous day on Monday, so we met at a place that we could sit outside and enjoy the nice weather. He's very personable, well-traveled, smart and lets not forget the best part...good looking! And he was just as cute in person as he was in his profile pictures!! We exchanged phone numbers at the end of the date agreed to meet up again sometime later in the week. At that point I thought I was still going to be traveling to Chicago but since that trip got cancelled I texted him last night to see if he would want to meet up on Thursday night. He agreed to dinner and drinks, yay! Here's a picture of him.

I also have another date tonight with Cole, the guy from last Friday night. I'm more interested in Bryan (above) but Cole is really nice too so we'll see how long I can juggle both of them :) But I'm really excited because we're going to a restaurant that I've been wanting to try for awhile tonight and Cole some how knows the chef and/or owner (I can't remember which). It should be fun and I'm looking forward to it.

I'll leave you with another awesome profile pic. This guy emailed me yesterday and when I looked at his main profile pic, I thought that maybe he was a transvestite - I know that sounds horrible but he looked very effeminate in his picture! But then I clicked on his profile and found this picture and all I could think was "Jackpot!!"